was this the worst lunch ever?

Possibly. I'll keep this short, because I don't enjoy talking about bad food experiences. But this completely lacklustre meal must be talked about...so here goes.

In my humble opinion, tourist trap restaurants ought to be good. Really good. They charge exorbitant amounts of cash for lattes and biscotti, so they'd better be serving something out of this world. More to the point, tourist traps serve tourists - people who spend enormous amounts of money in this country of ours. Let's keep them happy, OK?

Unfortunately, the food in tourist trap restaurants, like those in Sydney's Darling Harbour or Queen Victoria Building, is somewhere between "this banana bread is like every other piece of banana bread I've ever eaten" (that's the better end of the spectrum, mind you) or "this banana bread is two weeks old." Yesterday, I dined at a two-week-old banana bread cafe.

Queen's Cafe does not live up to its name. Not by a long shot. The menu is small (usually a good thing: I think huge menus are scary...how can a chef possibly know how to cook 23 main meals expertly...and how fresh are all the ingredients he needs for them?) and frankly, boring. Ham and cheese sandwich, anyone? Pumpkin soup? Ham is big at the Queen's Cafe - it features in all three of its main food genres: sandwiches, salads and tarts. I'm not big on ham, so I order a Smoked Salmon Salad, which, at $13.90, is definitely the worst food investment I've ever made.

I really wish I'd taken a photo, because my description just doesn't do my poor, tiny, overpriced salad justice. But close your eyes, dear reader, and picture something like this: a bed of wet iceberg lettuce. Three slices of tomato. Four slices of cucumber. One slice of pink, not-so-fresh looking smoked salmon. An inordinate squeeze of storebought creamy dressing. It was, in other words, gross. I mean, it's summer, people! Fresh vegetables are everywhere, and pretty cheap, too. It's so disappointing to get a bad salad, when there are so many amazing salads around. One of my regular lunchtime haunts is Speed Bar, on Park St in the city. Their $9 tuna salad is to die for. Baby spinach and rocket, fetta, tuna, sundried and regular tomato, cucumber, avocado, capsicum, a poached egg and rye bread to serve - now that is a salad.

Queen's Cafe
Queen Victoria Building
Sydney

Speed Bar
Shop 1, 27 Park St
Sydney